Perfection! I cannot go through a week of coaching without some talk of perfectionism and the striving for bigger, better, more."When I finally get this straightened out, then I will be ok."
"If I could only get there, then life will be good."
"If I could just be that, then I would be lovable."
It breaks my heart every time because it is such a lie and it is such a habit we have as human beings to always be thinking that we should be something other than what we are.
This particularly hit home last week when someone very dear to me shared that she could not see someone loving her because they (possible suitors) have every right to expect perfection and she was less than perfect. You see, she has some bumps on her back from some moles that got removed and in her world, this put her into the "less than perfect" category.
Can you relate? Maybe you don't have bumps but...
Maybe you have a few extra pounds.
Maybe you don't make as much as so and so.
Perhaps you have something in your past that in your mind makes you unworthy of good things or happiness or great love.
I was quick to share with her that in the world of perfect, Coach Joelle missed it on a lot of levels. Never mind that I had an entire finger cut off when I was 10, if you ever talk to Meave Drapak and what I did to her closet after a particularly rowdy party in high school, she will certainly agree with the statement "Joelle is not perfect!"
Sing it from the rooftops...
I, JOELLE PROCHERA AM NOT PERFECT!!! And none of this has anything to do with my worthiness for great things, happiness or love.
Not even one little bit.
Besides! Who holds the monopoly on perfection? Who says what's perfect and what's less than perfect?
If we line up 10,000 people and ask them to pick out the one perfect person in the group, I offer that it will always be a stalemate. With each person having their own standard of beauty, success, appropriate interests and adequate accomplishments you will probably even have a challenge finding a clear winner in the "least perfect category".
There is no universal standard of perfection (not in humanity anyway). Sure we tend to appreciate certain standards of beauty in our culture or certain levels of income but in other cultures they might look at the same standard and have no appreciation for it at all.
Back in the day, round voluptuous women were revered as a symbol of abundance and prosperity. Today, some days Waif is in, some days Waif is out.
One of my favorite performers, Seal has scarring on his face, does that get in the way of his beauty or his message or the contribution he is to the world? (Perhaps we should ask his wife, supermodel Heidi Klum.)
Perfect or Not Perfect... That is the question!
Let's give it a try!
Passionate Lebron James Fan
Came in 28th in The Shark Runner Game on Discovery.com
Makes 20 Million a movie
Has dressed as a giant chicken for employment
Dating Humanitarian Actress
Living in Cleveland
Missing a finger
Gets passionate about something every 3 minutes
Was not chosen for Foreign exchange program in grade 11
Insert pertinent facts here
Insert some stuff you love here
Insert some stuff you may not love as much here
Quite the dilemma, eh?
Perfect, my dearest, is a fantasy. It does not exist in the way we tend to think of it. It does not exist, that is, unless, you are willing to see yourself as you would a flower or a tree or a kitten.
- Is a flower less perfect because it is shorter than a tree?
- Is a oak less perfect than the pine tree because it loses its leaves for half the year, while the other stays evergreen?
- Is a kitten less perfect because it is not a puppy?
- Are you any less perfect than anyone else because of what you do, what you have or who you are?
I offer that perfection is not a place to get to. As a place to get to, it is an impossible journey.
I offer that perfection just is. Like the flower and the tree and the kitten, you are a marvelous creature. It is an absolute miracle that you even exist. All the stubbed toes, moments of frustration, physical quirks, triumphs and failures, embarrassing things you have done and silly comments you wish you never said, these are all part of the miracle that is you, and thus, it is perfect.
The invitation: I invite you to try on that you are already perfect just the way you are. For even just one day, take on fully believing that every little bit of you is just the way it is supposed to be at this moment in time. Don't worry, being perfect doesn't mean you are done and there is nothing left to do. Perfection does not mean there is no where to go from here, it just means you can go there with a lot more ease and joy and a lot less disappointment, sadness and self abuse. It means FREEDOM baby!! Woohoo!
So, are you perfect yet?
Have a perfect day!
Coach Joelle is a certified professional Coach who has supported hundreds of people over the past 6 years in bringing their business and personal dreams into reality. By being part of the Coach Joelle Community you will receive inspiring articles, access to free coaching events, practical coaching advice and techniques to begin living a life you love! At Coach Joelle (http://www.coachjoelle.com) we believe that the world is an amazing place and we are delighted to share the journey with you.
View all articles by Joelle Prochera
View all articles by Joelle Prochera